Cultural Transitioning and Assimilation

by Romina Beltran

Before I came to the US four years ago, I had a preconceived idea and expectations of what this complex and contradictory country would look like...more specifically the opportunities that it would hold for me. To me, home is Mexico, a place where I could never emotionally separate from, despite the many miles in between us. However, at times it feels like I’ve been away from home for years with no matter if I am able to go back during Christmas and fall break. Occasionally I feel like a foreigner to my roots and to my culture. Since I was a child, the US has been discussed as a “Candyland” in terms of monetary production and prosperity; somewhere where people immigrate looking for a better quality of life. It was later on that I understood how ingrained capitalism was in the “American Dream” and with the values put upon what it means to be successful.

The day came when I left my family behind and I started my high school education at a boarding school in Vermont. My first year was filled with new sensory experiences: new tastes, new smells, new emotions. I realized that people that surrounded me quickly expected me to call this completely distinct environment home. So I did; I tried my best to assimilate to  American Culture. Despite feeling foreign and at times alienated, I forced myself to grow fond of this place. I became used to referencing my country only when people asked me for vacationing spots or Mexican cuisine, I stopped pronouncing my name correctly, and dressing accordingly to what the trend was at that certain time in the US, or only listening to Spanish music when I was alone. It was in my second year in the United States when I started to unpack the impact that all the questions that were asked to me about my country had over my sense of identity. I reflected on how people interpreted my country, and therefore how they interpreted me.

My academic work started to reflect all these realizations as well as my evolving friendships. I started to become myself within the historical context of the US. Understanding racial, social, and class systems became more evident as I had to stop relying on assimilation to be comfortable being different. To this day, I seek and appreciate everything that brings me memories from home: components that validate my identity as complex as it is. With time, I have been able to find ways in which to navigate spaces that sometimes still feel intimidating, scary or foreign. Now, I don’t expect to feel that the US is home, because it will never be; however, I am willing to embrace it as a place that is fostering my growth, with all its intricacies. Today I am confident that I can decide how to react to the multiple ways in which the US social and political climate wear me down and simultaneously make me a stronger person with clearer aspirations in life.